Anger, Foolishness and Forgiveness

Very few things get under my skin. I mean, REALLY really get my blood boiling. I have minor annoyances- my children's disobedience, wet towels left on bedroom floors, muddy footprints tracked through the house..., but there are some things I have a hard time controlling my temper over. The helpless bus kids in my Sunday school class who are un-bathed and wearing dirty clothes stinking of cat urine who tell me that they didn't eat that morning, people who smoke around their children who can't speak up for themselves or escape it, and people who remain willfully ignorant yet feel the need to give their opinion on things they know nothing about. That's the one that has me all fired up today.
I know I've posted a few times about my oldest son's food allergies. Not that I wish to beat a dead horse, but it's a very touchy subject with me. I think because I encounter so many people who have no actual facts, but have very strong opinions on it. Opinions that are usually along the lines of, "people with food allergies should just have a reaction, be allowed to die, improve the gene pool and leave us alone to enjoy our PB&J." I'm not even kidding. I'm a very quiet person most of the time and I used to be a complete doormat. You could insult me all day long and it wouldn't really bother me. Then I had a baby. A baby with food allergies. Given to me to protect. I have spoken up and out more in defense of my son than I ever thought possible. I'm sure I wouldn't feel so strongly about it if my son DIDN'T have food allergies, but he does and I do. I would like to think that even if he didn't, I would try to be understanding of those who do. I can't imagine looking at someone else's child and thinking that they should be sequestered away in an attic somewhere for MY convenience.
Because I feel so strongly, I try to avoid articles written on the subject. I do stay up to date with advances in the field of preventing or "curing" allergies, but I've learned to avoid articles on the subject because usually say a whole lot of nothing and are followed by hundreds of stupid comments from people who don't have any clue about what they're spouting off about. I KNOW better, but I gave into temptation this morning and read one, and allowed my eyes to drift down to the "comments" section. Sure enough... I was so mad I was spitting nails ( and hateful names I would never allow my children to use). WHY do I do that? What was I hoping to see? A sudden change in people's attitude? Supportive encouragement for those with food allergies? The only thing I accomplished was making myself mad. Ecclesiastes 7:9 says, "Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry; for anger resteth in the bosom of fools". It's true. I was acting like a fool, self-righteously lashing out at someone I'll never see face-to-face and calling names like a bratty child. I baited myself... like a fool. The only "good" to come of doing that to myself is the burst of adrenaline from anger that has no outlet. You can get a lot of cleaning done on adrenaline. But what then? Sadness at knowing so many people consider your child less than human? A road-block to their enjoying peanuts on airplanes and peanut butter in school? Frustration at wanting to educate people but not knowing HOW? At knowing that even if most people had actual facts, they'd continue to be willfully ignorant, anyway? So, I do this to myself and I'm left just feeling...yucky.
So then what? I have to remember that I'm supposed to forgive the people who say such hateful things, because they don't really hate my son. They hate my son's allergy (and really, so do I) and to them, it's an abstract idea that they see as a hindrance to freely enjoying something they don't view as life-threatening, not an affliction of someone they love. Luke 6:36 and 37 says, "
Be ye therefore merciful as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven." Matthew 44 even says you're supposed to pray for them. Hardly my first reaction when I'm in the flesh and hopping mad, but it works. It's like putting ointment on an angry wound. The pain and heat ease away and you start to see the one you're so furious with as human, with faults, just like you. I have to remind myself of all that's good in my life; the best husband anyone could ask for, amazing children, family who loves me, wonderful friends, a very blessed life, and most importantly, my God who loves me and knows my hurt. I have to remember that that as a Christian, I don't have to hold on to ugly anger and become bitter. I can take it to Him and shed it and have my joy back.

Amish Country- Good Friends, Manure, Whoopie Pies and Pianos

Last weekend, I had the incredible opportunity to go to Amish Country with some friends- and make some new ones! I've wanted to go since I was little. It started off great- I'm on a trip! With the girls! No kids! Then, quite a ways down the road, I had one of those heart-stopping "uh-oh" moments. I didn't see my ever-present purse. I frantically checked all over the van- nope. Talk about feeling sick to my stomach. My friend loaned me her phone and I called home. Yup, sitting on the dining room table. I'd set it down to console my daughter who was clinging to me and crying. My friends generously spotted me some money. I felt awful and weird. I decided to try and get past it and just enjoy myself. I can honestly say I needed all the goofy girl talk and giggling. It's been such a long time since I've been responsibility-free. We got to the house we were staying at- my friend's parents' house. I don't usually do well with people I don't know. It takes me a LONG time to get to know people usually, but her parents were so warm and welcoming, I felt like I'd known them for years. Her mother is THE quintessential mother and her father the quintessential father. Their home was beautiful and inviting and cozy. My friend told her Dad about my "oops" and he offered to loan me money on the spot. Now, who ever wants to borrow money? Probably one of the most awkward situations to be in, but he was very kind and insistent and said it was no problem, I could just mail him a check when I got home. I ended up having just as much as I would have if I hadn't forgotten my purse. We spent the next day in Amish Country- it was like something out of a Beverly Lewis novel. Horses and carriages clip-clopping right along with motor-traffic. The cars passing the buggies made me nervous for them, but everyone seemed used to it- including the horses. Amish men hard at work riding manure spreaders pulled by teams of horses, little boys in their Plain clothes working just as hard raking in the field. I put a crick in my neck trying to see it all. It's almost like an alternate reality. Amish and Mennonite are everywhere down there, in the stores, working the registers... . And they're all very friendly and polite. Before, my only interaction had been working at a fabric store in my hometown. The Mennonite ladies would come in to buy fabric and it seemed like it almost pained them to have to talk to us. In PA, they're very personable and have the cutest accents ;).
We visited bulk food stores where I stocked up on some staples, nurseries, an antiques shop ( Oh, I could spend all day antiquing!) a grocery "seconds" store ( bags of flour for .10!!!) where one can buy freshly made ( and DELICIOUS) whoopie pies, and a few tourist traps. We packed as much as we could into the day, but it went way too quickly. We ended it playing games and laughing. I even got into a trash-talking match over Scattergories with my friend's Dad. Me. Who knew? He beat me, but barely. I was rusty ;). I can't think of a more perfect way to end a day. The next day, during breakfast ( yummy baked oatmeal and coffee!!) he received a call from a man he knows who wanted to donate an upright piano to someone who could and would use it. It was very special to him and he wanted it to go to a good home. Now, I have been praying for a piano for Crash for some time. A few years ago, I became aware that he seems to have a higher-than-average love/talent for music. He can hear a song or tune and sing or hum it perfectly. He can keep time and play something after only being shown once or twice. For our families, that's quite the achievement!! I LOVE music but can't sing to save my life. My husband would say the same. Crash has been taking casual lessons once a week for a few months but only gets to play on a piano once a week. The rest of the time, he's on a keyboard that his teacher loaned us. I wanted lessons badly when I was a kid and swore that if my kids wanted them, I'd do my best to make sure they got them. So far, Crash is the only one who's shown an interest, but I think Princess may be asking soon. Talk about God's timing! I never would've imagined I'd wind up with a free piano on vacation. My friend's father kindly offered to drop it off when he's up here next month. It still seems surreal, but the more I think about it, the more excited I get- and grateful?! So grateful!! I've noticed that answered prayer always comes in the most unexpected ways so you can't help but realize Who is at work.
On the way home, we visited my friend's sister who lives in an incredible house and runs a plant sale every year. She's a talented artist who could take just about anything and make it beautiful. Her kids were incredibly precious and she generously gave us all several plants for free. She had a great hot lunch prepared for us and showed us around. We've been FB friends (has Webster's adopted that one, yet?) for a couple of months, but she was so sweet and warm, I felt like I'd known her for years, too. People like that are few and far between. It was a wonderful weekend full of new friends, fun and wonderful memories.