Very few things get under my skin. I mean, REALLY really get my blood boiling. I have minor annoyances- my children's disobedience, wet towels left on bedroom floors, muddy footprints tracked through the house..., but there are some things I have a hard time controlling my temper over. The helpless bus kids in my Sunday school class who are un-bathed and wearing dirty clothes stinking of cat urine who tell me that they didn't eat that morning, people who smoke around their children who can't speak up for themselves or escape it, and people who remain willfully ignorant yet feel the need to give their opinion on things they know nothing about. That's the one that has me all fired up today.
I know I've posted a few times about my oldest son's food allergies. Not that I wish to beat a dead horse, but it's a very touchy subject with me. I think because I encounter so many people who have no actual facts, but have very strong opinions on it. Opinions that are usually along the lines of, "people with food allergies should just have a reaction, be allowed to die, improve the gene pool and leave us alone to enjoy our PB&J." I'm not even kidding. I'm a very quiet person most of the time and I used to be a complete doormat. You could insult me all day long and it wouldn't really bother me. Then I had a baby. A baby with food allergies. Given to me to protect. I have spoken up and out more in defense of my son than I ever thought possible. I'm sure I wouldn't feel so strongly about it if my son DIDN'T have food allergies, but he does and I do. I would like to think that even if he didn't, I would try to be understanding of those who do. I can't imagine looking at someone else's child and thinking that they should be sequestered away in an attic somewhere for MY convenience.
Because I feel so strongly, I try to avoid articles written on the subject. I do stay up to date with advances in the field of preventing or "curing" allergies, but I've learned to avoid articles on the subject because usually say a whole lot of nothing and are followed by hundreds of stupid comments from people who don't have any clue about what they're spouting off about. I KNOW better, but I gave into temptation this morning and read one, and allowed my eyes to drift down to the "comments" section. Sure enough... I was so mad I was spitting nails ( and hateful names I would never allow my children to use). WHY do I do that? What was I hoping to see? A sudden change in people's attitude? Supportive encouragement for those with food allergies? The only thing I accomplished was making myself mad. Ecclesiastes 7:9 says, "Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry; for anger resteth in the bosom of fools". It's true. I was acting like a fool, self-righteously lashing out at someone I'll never see face-to-face and calling names like a bratty child. I baited myself... like a fool. The only "good" to come of doing that to myself is the burst of adrenaline from anger that has no outlet. You can get a lot of cleaning done on adrenaline. But what then? Sadness at knowing so many people consider your child less than human? A road-block to their enjoying peanuts on airplanes and peanut butter in school? Frustration at wanting to educate people but not knowing HOW? At knowing that even if most people had actual facts, they'd continue to be willfully ignorant, anyway? So, I do this to myself and I'm left just feeling...yucky.
So then what? I have to remember that I'm supposed to forgive the people who say such hateful things, because they don't really hate my son. They hate my son's allergy (and really, so do I) and to them, it's an abstract idea that they see as a hindrance to freely enjoying something they don't view as life-threatening, not an affliction of someone they love. Luke 6:36 and 37 says, "
Be ye therefore merciful as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven." Matthew 44 even says you're supposed to pray for them. Hardly my first reaction when I'm in the flesh and hopping mad, but it works. It's like putting ointment on an angry wound. The pain and heat ease away and you start to see the one you're so furious with as human, with faults, just like you. I have to remind myself of all that's good in my life; the best husband anyone could ask for, amazing children, family who loves me, wonderful friends, a very blessed life, and most importantly, my God who loves me and knows my hurt. I have to remember that that as a Christian, I don't have to hold on to ugly anger and become bitter. I can take it to Him and shed it and have my joy back.
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