Life's Hard Lessons

"Mommy, do hamsters go to heaven?". Crash looked at me with tears running down his face.

Crash's piano teacher had given him two adorable little hamsters for Christmas, Crunchie and Munchie. They had belonged to her for a while, but she wanted him to have them. It was love at first sight for Crash. He's turned out to be a very good pet owner. The rest of us have come to love them and their cute antics, as well. They each have their own little personality and likes and dislikes. One likes fresh carrots, the other one prefers plain, raw almonds. Much to the kids' amusement and my frustration, they both kick the food they hate out of the cage and onto the schoolroom floor in search of the sunflower seeds they love.

Today is supposed to be a happy day for Crash, his ninth birthday, but instead, it quickly turned bleak when I checked on his hamster Crunchie, and gasped. A few weeks ago, we'd noticed Crunchie had about a marble-sized lump on his back. It appeared out of nowhere. He seemed to be his happy hamster self, though. I decided that except for checking to make sure they had food and water, I wouldn't look at him for a week or so so I could clearly see if there was any change in the lump. Crash decided to give them a few almonds for treats this afternoon and asked me to have a look at Crunchie. When I pulled back the little handkerchief they sleep under, I was startled. The lump is now the size of two peach pits put together. For a tiny little hamster, that's pretty significant. He still doesn't seem to be suffering, but at the rate the lump is growing, I can't imagine that will be the case for very long.

that lump shouldn't be there.

I held Crash while he cried and gave him Matthew 10:29: "Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? And one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father." I said, "think about how much God loves you, Crash; yet the Bible says he sees and notices even the smallest animals. He knows all about Crunchie". That seemed to calm him a little. He took a shuddering breath and asked me what we were going to do. His pinched, worried little face watched me while I thought. I couldn't stand to see even a hamster suffer. If he were in the wild in his current state, a larger animal would come along and end it for him. That's the design of things. He's protected in his little cage in our house. Nothing's going to come along and put him out of his misery when he hits that point. Crash seemed to know when I reached my decision. His face crumpled and he fell into me again sobbing. I held him for a while longer and then asked all the kids to leave the room so I could call the vet. Crash quietly crept in while I was on the phone with the receptionist and was silently listening in. He watched while I wrote the appointment date and time down. I made the mistake of looking directly at his face and then I started crying. That poor receptionist... . I got through it and ended the call. The appointment is for this coming Tuesday at 10:00. Crash dried his tears and straightened up. He looked at me and said, "I want to be with him when it happens. I don't want him alone with strangers". He quietly fed Crunchie another treat and watched him for a while.
Life and death is such a hard lesson and one inevitably learned early on when you have pets. It hurts to see your kids suffering, but at the same time, I think it's one of those life experiences that helps them mature, too. It's kind of symbolic, I guess, that it happened on his birthday, I just hope that this isn't what he thinks of when he looks back on this day.