So when my daughter sat on my lap one night two weeks ago and looked up just right, I was startled to realize that almost her entire left nostril is closed off. I looked closer and my heart stopped. There was some kind of lump... or growth or... something in my baby girl's nose. Now, when I think lump, I think "cancer". In this day and age, that's just where my mind goes. So, to say I was scared would be putting it mildly. Of course, it was also a Friday night. I fretted and prayed and cried and prayed and begged and cried some more every time I had a moment alone. Princess caught me staring at her more than once and began to get self-conscious. "What, Mommy???"
Of course, I spent hours on Google trying to find another "lump" like hers to compare to try and figure out what I was dealing with. It didn't fit the description of a "polyp" and she doesn't have allergies to irritate the lining of her nose. Nothing fit and that scared me more. I deal with things by arming myself with information. Not knowing what I'm up against is the scariest thing for me.
Finally, Monday morning came and I made an appointment. I was relieved and alarmed when the receptionist responded with, "oh, dear", put me on hold to consult with the pediatrician and told me they wanted to see her that day. In the shower that morning, I prayed and cried some more. "Please, Lord, let it be something simple, let it be something we can fix. Please don't let it be that. I don't want any of the kids to ever be in pain and I couldn't take losing one of my babies".
Since my husband's car is out of service, he had taken mine to work that morning and I didn't remember until after I'd hung up. I called him at work and he arranged with his boss to leave early and take her to her appointment. That was a LONG two hours.
They finally walked in the door and I pounced on my husband for information. He told me the Ped. had said it looked to her like a deviated septum, but that she just wasn't sure and was going to refer us to an ear, nose and throat Dr. . I felt such an intense relief I can't even describe it. I knew what that was!!! I jumped on the computer and Googled for pictures of deviated septum. "YES!!! That looks JUST LIKE Princess's nose!! Josh! Come here and look at this! That's all it is, she's okay!" The "up-nose" shots I found looked just like my daughter's lump and even the outsides of their noses looked like hers. She's had a strange bump in her nose that suddenly appeared when she was about a year old. Josh told me the Ped. had asked him if she'd had any injuries to her nose recently. He couldn't remember anything, but I remembered a day when she was a baby when I'd walked into the living room and the side of her nose was an alarming blue/purple. Being that she was my third baby, wasn't bleeding or crying, I decided, "no blood, no foul". I figured her toddler brother had probably pegged her in the nose with a toy. It wasn't until some time after that, though, that I noticed her nose had gone a little asymmetrical when it had been fine before. It didn't bother me much and I never connected the dots until he'd said that.
We had her ENT appt. today. I liked the Dr. right off the bat. He had a very soothing southern accent and was very kind and didn't talk down his nose (that's a big no-no with me as far as Dr.'s are concerned. I may not have gone to medical school, but I'm not an idiot, either). He put Princess at ease and I followed suit. The second he put his little flashlight to her nose, he said, "yep! Deviated septum!" He then proceeded to tell me that my little girl had no idea what it was like to breathe freely through her nose. Her nostril is 90% blocked. Try plugging one side of your nose and breathing. I did and I felt HORRIBLE that she's been living like this. Amazingly, she's my ONE child who consistently remembers to chew with her mouth closed when she's the ONE child who's had every excuse to leave it open. We've all had a bad cold and been completely miserable not being able to breathe. It drives me nuts for just a few days, but my sweet daughter has NEVER complained once in seven years. Being that her nose has such a severe blockage, he suggested surgery (Ahhhhh!). He explained that he'd put her under and it would be a "conservative" procedure since she's still a small child and still growing and her facial features have a long way to go before adulthood. That being the case, he said he probably won't even have to use packing- just apply an ointment for a few days and then have a follow-up check up about a week later barring any complications.
While he was explaining the surgery, I would catch Princess looking at me out of the corner of my eye, alternately smiling and frowning. I thought maybe he was scaring her with his talk of surgery, so whenever I saw her frown, I would turn and give her a big, bright smile (see? Mommy's not afraid! There's nothing to worry about! I'm smiling!!!). Later, in the car on the way home, I decided to feel her out and asked her what she thought of having surgery. She gasped and said, "SURGERY? I HAVE TO HAVE SURGERY????? I said, "yes, I thought you heard the doctor talking about it?" She smiled dreamily and said, "oh! I was wondering if he had a treasure box and what might be in it! See, Crash? I got this pretty pink bracelet. Next time, I'll get you the soldier guy I saw in there".
Crash leaned forward and said, "Mommy? Can I go in there with her? I don't want her to be in there all alone. ". I said, "Oh, buddy, you can't be in there when they're doing it, you aren't allowed. You'll probably stay home with one of us while the other one goes to be with Princess." His voice started trembling and he said, "but I have to, I just have to. What if she's scared?" I looked back and his face had gone pale and there were tears in his eyes. Of course, that set off my waterworks. I explained that she wouldn't know anything while she was under and when it was over, she'd wake up in recovery with me by her side. He settled down a bit, but I heard him whisper in her ear, "I'll be there, Princess. I'll be there in the waiting room when you wake up. I won't let you be alone."
Awww! her brother is so sweet.
ReplyDeleteHe is! It made me cry to see him so concerned for her.
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